HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH REJECTION?

If you are a risk taker you will find times when you will be rejected.  Taking a risk and failing is a form of rejection.  How we handle rejection can be determined by how we see ourselves.  Are we confident with a positive attitude or are we unsure of ourselves with an attitude toward the negative?  Having been in sales most of my adult life has provided many times to have been subjected to rejection.

Being able to handle rejection can result from experience or allowing Scripture and the Holy Spirit preparing you to overcome life’s rejections.  We learn from the Bible that God can use rejection to mold who He wants us to be.  Rejection does not always have to be a form of failure.  We know that God opens doors but He also closes them.  A closed door is often a rejection.  God’s rejection and possibly rejection from others can change the direction we are heading.

What you believe about yourself can determine your behavior.  What do you think is best: for the world to shape who you are or God Who loves you and wants what is best for you?

What kind of a self-image would you like?  We live in a negative world.  Read the newspaper or listen to TV and you hear about what’s bad.  Rarely do good deeds or positive stories in the media sell.   How often parents, ministers, teachers or friends have questioned your appearance or intelligence.  Have you been ridiculed for an unintentional remark?  Have you received a distorted picture of who you are?  Wouldn’t it be better to have a healthy self-image?

The Bible tells us that God loves us.  We were created in God’s image and only slightly lower than the angels.  Jesus told us we can do what He did and in fact we could do some things even greater.  He puts no limits or requirements for us to attain.  How do you think God feels when we are negative and afraid to take risks?  As believers of Christ we have God’s Spirit dwelling within us.

The Bible repeatedly says God is not interested in our works but He cares about what is in our hearts.  Is His love really in our hearts?  If so we have learned there can be no hate or a lack of forgiveness.  What God requires can only be obtained by allowing the Holy Spirit to change who we are.  This is why we cannot allow the Holy Spirit to be ignored.  We must let the Holy Spirit become very active in our daily lives.  If we are not seeing supernatural occurrences from time to time we probably have not made the Holy Spirit our partner.  So shouldn’t we expect the Holy Spirit to be manifest in everything we do?  He will if we pray and ask for His help. He will not force Himself onto us.

Within us God created needs that we must feel we “belong”, that we feel “worthy” and that we have a feeling of being “competent”.  If we cannot fulfill each of these three needs we will not become the person God wants us to be.  If we are not that complete person it is difficult to become a quality person.  A dysfunctional background and personal hang ups can create problems in dealing with people.   Many parents, managers and teachers come with so many emotional problems that they have no idea how to develop and motivate people or raise their children.  A result is the feeling of rejection.

As Christians, Scripture tells us how each of the three needs can be met.  Romans 8:14 – 16 – “because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.  For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.  And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’  The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.”  Do you believe and act as one of God’s children?

We belong because we have been adopted into God’s family.  It is our job as Christians to make sure everyone has an awareness of belonging.  Children must believe they belong, big-time to the family.  Many non-believers have problems feeling that they belong and possibly never have.  They may do whatever they believe is necessary to become accepted, liked or loved, even if it takes being immoral.  Character is very important in being truly loved.  Feeling loved and accepted can build one’s character!

Romans 5:6 – 8 – “You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

God wanted us to know, ungodly or not, believer or doubter, each one of us was worthy in His eyes.  He sent Christ to die for us because He wants to develop a relationship with us through Christ and give us His love.  Knowing Christ loves us should make us experience a sense of worthiness.  Do we realize how important it is that we, as a person, see ourselves as being valuable?  How many times have you felt inept?  If we continually think negative things about ourselves we can become a negative person.  Think positive things and people will be more inclined to be around us.  How we see ourselves can be projected to others and that is how they will see us also.  Have you ever worked for or had a parent who couldn’t make simple decisions?  They just never wanted to make a mistake.

Ephesians 3:20 – “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.”  God has given to us His Spirit so that we might achieve anything He would ever ask us to do.  God expects us to be competent achievers and we can.

If you have never felt that you were accepted, were worthy or had the ability to achieve, God can change you.   The Bibles says the problems we bring into the family as parents can be carried on to the fourth generation—unless we allow God to change us.

Probably the major thing I received from college was that most everyone was average.  Occasionally there were some who were exceptionally brilliant but too often they didn’t have common sense.   The realization that I could achieve was vital in my development because I understood there was not as much competition as I had expected.

We must feel loved, accepted and secure.  We will then have the foundation to become a better parent or leader.  It is then we can instill in others the three basic needs God created that must be fulfilled.  Imagine working for a leader who makes you feel how important you are to the organization, how essential you have been in getting the job done right and how you have made this a better place to work.  Or, the boss or parent that is continually critical and ignores your contributions.  Who motivates you the most?

If you want to overcome the feeling of being rejected, start each day with prayer asking specifically for the Spirit within us to guide in everything we do throughout the day.  The last thing each day, take a minute and thank the Holy Spirit for being active in our lives.  After a time we will begin to realize and recognize that God’s Spirit lives within us and is actively changing our behavior.   We will then begin to realize that we as Christians have been given a unique advantage in living our lives.  We too will learn there are many blessings that God wants to give to us through the Holy Spirit within.  Are a few minutes daily worth God’s blessings and developing who we are to become, so we can overcome the feelings of rejection?

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