Do You Want To Be A Complete Person?

I have been blessed in so many ways. God has allowed me to be in management over 35 years. I had as many as 450 employees at a time. If I knew, many years ago, what I know now I could have done so much better. As a result, Doug, president and co-owner of a public-held company and I helped write a book advising Christians how the advantages that the Holy Spirit gives to us can help us be much more successful and affective in whatever we do. In some capacity in life we all will have the opportunity to be a leader. It may be as a parent, a Sunday school teacher, the leader of a small group or in your chosen career.

Dr. Stanley in a sermon reminded me of something that I have known for a long time that I feel will help me share what I have learned over the years. Within us God created needs that we must feel we “belong”, that we feel “worthy” and that we have a feeling of being “competent”. If we cannot fulfill each of these three needs we will not become a complete person. If we are not a complete person it is difficult to become a quality leader. A dysfunctional background and personal hang ups can create problems in dealing with people. Many parents, managers and teachers come with so many emotional problems that they have no idea how to develop and motivate people or raise their children. Some of my experiences have been working for some bosses who were really obnoxious.

As Christians, Scripture tells us how each of the three needs can be met. Romans 8:14 – 16 – “because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’ The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.” We belong because we have been adopted into God’s family. It is our job as leaders to make sure everyone has an awareness of belonging. Children must believe they belong, big-time to the family. Many non-believers have problems feeling that they belong and possibly never have. They may do whatever they believe is necessary to become accepted, liked or loved, even if it takes being immoral. Character is very important in being truly loved. Feeling loved and accepted can build one’s character!

Romans 5:6 – 8 – “You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” God wanted us to know, ungodly or not, believer or doubter, each one of us was worthy in His eyes. He sent Christ to die for us because He wants to develop a relationship with us through Christ and give us His love. Knowing Christ loves us should make us experience a sense of worthiness. Do we realize how important it is that we, as a person, see ourselves as being valuable? How many times have you felt inept? If we continually think negative things about ourselves we can become a negative person. Think positive things and people will be more inclined to be around us. How we see ourselves can be projected to others and that is how they will see us also. Have you ever worked for or had a parent who couldn’t make simple decisions? They just never wanted to make a mistake.

Ephesians 3:20 – “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” God has given to us His Spirit so that we might achieve anything He would ever ask us to do. God expects us to be competent achievers and we can.

If you have never felt either that your were accepted, were worthy or had the ability to achieve God can change you. The Bibles says the problems we bring into the family as parents can be carried on to the fourth generation—unless we allow God to change us.

Probably the major thing I received from college was that most everyone was average. Occasionally there were some who were exceptionally brilliant but too often they didn’t have common sense. The realization that I could achieve was vital in my development because I understood there was not as much competition as I had expected.

We must feel loved, accepted and secure. We will then have the foundation to become a better parent or leader. It is then we can instill in others the three basic needs God created that must be fulfilled. Imagine working for a leader who makes you feel how important you are to the organization, how essential you have been in getting the job done right and how you have made this a better place to work. Or, the boss or parent that is continually critical and ignores your contributions. Who motivates you the most?

These three needs are not something you would tell your child or an employee every day. Otherwise, we would seem insincere. We can show it through our body language. We know they are pleased when we receive a smile or a pat on the back. I worked many years for a company that only knew one way to get a job done and that was through fear. No matter how good of a job you did you could always have done better. They were not leaders. They were bosses.

I could have been a better parent. Cs & Ds on report cards were just not acceptable. I believed you didn’t have to be smart to get good grades. You just had to apply yourself. Sometimes children have difficulty in knowing how to study and retain what they learn. I never became an “A” student until my junior year in college. Prior to that I was always a “C+” student. All I needed to stay involved in sports was a “C” and that was good enough. I should have been more encouraging to my children.

As we wrote our book we realized all of the things we could have done better, especially to have relied more on guidance from the Holy Spirit who was put into us to help fulfill our needs and guide and direct us in everything we do. Therefore, we hoped that we could share some things that would make Christians realize they have tremendous advantages and should be more positive.

Haven’t we all said: “If I was only able to do it all over again”? You may start by rating yourself on whether you feel you are loved and accepted, that you are worthy and do you feel competent and able to be an achiever? We must be secure in all three. If not we need to continually be working on our weaknesses. Who we think we are and how we see ourselves can tremendously affect others. If we don’t see ourselves as a complete person how can we help others to become complete? In all things Christ would teach us to be humble in spirit and have a servant’s heart.

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